a question that i have no answer for

i am thrown a question by him.

am i willing to wait 5 yrs in this relationship? will i ever leave any point in this five years? he needs to know. to assure that we won't be wasting each other's time. for now. i can say yes. i will wait. cos i know i love this guy. regardless how different we are. but will it last 5 yrs? it's like. will i end up being hurt when 5 yrs up? will i hurt him if i found someone better out there. is he the best i can get? our goals are so different. i want things to work out. but they'r no easy! i am just a practical girl living in this world who just wishes for everything simple. with a family to lie back on. a future that is acheivable. someone who can have real dreams and make it happen. i know music is his life. but how real can it get? he say he will make it achievable. but in all.. isn't it a dream that's so difficult to get? this is reality. maybe this is when the level of maturity comes in. to him, music is his life. above everything. but this is singapore. talking bout leaving this place. do you know how? do you know the amount of $$ tat will be. have u seriously put yr dreams down and look at how real it is? is it so difficult to be normal? just a normal family tat i yearn for? this is just so me. going for things that are so out of the world. deep in me, i am never satisfied with normal guys. they just got to be special or smart. or at least now what they want in life. he knows that. and that's what attracted me. but it scares me at the same time when everything do not seem realistic anymore. the reality of the world is not as simple as he thinks. will he ever know?

everything's fine whenever we don't talk about the future. maybe it's because both of us know there's no future for US together. cos i am not the kind of music rocker girl that he probably wants. and he's not the reliable, secure man i have always wanted in my life. why throw me such a question now? half of my head say let go, the other half says.. why not? i want to make it work. but i see no vision of us after the 5 yrs. can u see it? how confident are you that you will be able to have a family? or wait. u didn't even intend to have a family? am i wrong??

i hate making decisions. it makes my heart wrench when i think of making it. any one decision will make me regret. i am so sure of it.

can you help me choose? i know time is not on yr side now. u have yr band, family and then why burden yourself with me? i am so LOST. what is my best decision?