man.. it's a friday and i am stoning away in front of my computer.
don't feel like doing any work. don't feel like doing anything.
i saw his nick. he seems ok already. guess it's just an excuse to break up with me. it's just an excuse. not even a reason. anyway, i dun wanna care. don't wanna care anymore. so what if it's not. the fact and reality has once proven to me. life is definitely better alone. who needs love. all u need is company. love is stupid. it makes u happy yet it can bring u so sad and down. doesn't that categorise it as STUPID already? whatever. i am JUST CRAPPING and being annoying.
i feel so STONNED! like i just keep looking into space and not thinking. just staring into the screen waiting for someone to talk to me. apparently, no one does it. and i feel alone. so alone all of sudden.
i hate the transition part of getting used to someone calling u now and then.. calling everyday and all of sudden. silence. no more calls. no more concern. i hate looking at my hp. i hate anticipating. MAN. hmpf! i know i know. i just have to get used to it. so meanwhile can i just rant on. pls? let me breathe. does anyone knows that every breathe i take is so heavy now? so much pain just to breathe. i can simply stop. sigh.. how long do you think this blog can be.. i think it can be very long as i am very STONNED and crapped up. i shall type till i feel like stopping. so those who are reading. pls do stop here. do not wish this blog to be disturbing to the mind. *bleh*
so let me see.. how long do u guys think i will take to be ok? i think will be after the weekend. what u think? i can do it as i must do it. no way is it gonna affect my studies.
meanwhile.. being all bored and stonned. i msged someone.and we started talking again. happy am i for that instance. although i know it might mean nothing. i hope it will become something. there was also a call.. a call to cheer my day. know what. i always just laugh myself silly when i am on phone with him. although i know there's no other meaning. i wish there is. although there was a motive to help kill time for him. i happily accepted and talked. cos i just needed someone to talk to about nothing and just being silly and laugh. i am not sure if he will ever know who he is cos i am not sure if he reads the blog.. i wonder if i shld try to make things work. if only he took action before chris. things might not be like this now. i might not have been hurt. or then again.. i might have been hurt by him instead. in this case i rather not have the hurt from him and leave our r/s a flawless one. with just pure laugter and silliness...
so the part i wrote above.. do u guys think it's true or not? or am i bullshitting... hmm.. what's the possibility! haha..
shall leave this as a suspense. heh
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