just got home after a long day.

don't know why but the day ended feeling a tinsy bit of emo. perhaps it was the conversations. perhaps it was the night. perhaps it was the environment. perhaps again it was my stomach and the queasypukey feeling. and perhaps it was all because of a lager and a magarita.

which is highly possibly the reason. not enough to make you drunk. not enough to keep you sober and start thinking about lots of things which would totally make no sense when i wake up in the morning.

but for now. the alcohol is perhaps working. and perhaps it is times like this that i am feeling more confident.

i don't want to grow attach. i don't want to leave any emotions or roots. i want to leave clean. clean and clear. help me. make things easier. maybe back to my one month treatment which i had some long long time back was good. it was indeed good. but for that. i need the most difficult thing that i can't get these days. TIME.

sometimes i wonder. i question myself time and again. when i fell sick. when i stand away. so many mixed up bottled up whatever you call them. maybe it is good to be in the hands of old friends again.
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all those lines simply says what i have in my mind right now. don't make sense. yea it totally doesn't. so dun bother asking. cos only best friends will know. right best friend? haha.

i miss going out with the boys. =( can you see i am complaining here. BAH! do something. chick ray and maybe ace. haha. it's you guys i am saying.

and i wanna fall sick again. so that i need not work. shit damn it. i just want 31st july to be here faster =( can i speed up time? i need a break. breaking down really really soon. if i still don't have time for myself. BAH!