Dear God,

i will really try.

i promise.

but for now. i am taking a break. moving away is what i have chosen to do. please do not look for me. too mentally exhausted. too spiritually exhausted. and too physically exhausted. i will complete the tasks that i have set out to do. i can't make anymore decisions. the struggle i have to put through before i sleep everynight. just to open my eyes to go to work is a torture. and sadly lord. i can't bring myself to whine anymore. i hate myself. and for that i choose to leave. at least for now.

when can i sing your praises again? when can i bring myself to sing those songs i used to sing? for now i am sure i am not able to anymore. i sing the first few words and it dies off. i can't find the me one year ago. you have brought me up and left me there. where am i to go on from here. it looks aimless now. bleak at least. and people say to search for you. to see you. and feel you working. and sorry lord. i guess i am just too amateur for this.

i am waiting for the day to come back. to be the me i used to be a year ago. ready to sing your praises loud. dancing and clapping. but for now. sorry once again sorry. i can't. do not forsake me.

thus i signed my name out. goodbye.