the wait is tormenting. the guessing is mind boggling.
could i have the answers soon? i know this is just another test of my patience.
this one week of waiting is crawling by so slowly. maybe it is the after holiday syndrome. i kinda find life pretty boring at the moment. thou i don't really think there is much chance to have any good news, i would take a yes as the answer that will change my life, a new breakthrough. but i know i shouldn't even get my hopes too high or near there. i shall learn to be patient and wait and wait and soon i will even forget i ever tried for it.
have you been at this stage when you stare at the ceiling and it daunts you that you are turning 27 reaching the 30s soon. freaking me out these days. call it the biological clock or whatsoever, the body is saying something and like how some annoying guy friends would say, the eggs are expiring. haha. i have been on a lookout pretty much but it is just not working out. sometimes i wonder maybe it's easier finding a girlfriend instead. hahaha but i think i know myself too well, there is no way i am taking the crooked path. just perhaps i wish sometimes guys are easier to read than i thought. the process of guessing and finding out is taxing and i feel i am on the verge of giving up and moving on.
or so maybe i should. will he ever know.
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