a balance between job satisfaction

phew. a sigh of relief.
today i hosted my first ever "talkshow" for work.
it went on pretty well i must say thou i was really nervous over what to say and how the crowd went.
a few hiccups here and there before the session but it all went through
thank goodness for my colleague (thou i was pretty pissed with him earlier)
but yes he calmed those nerves that were hitting the roof

and so this is done and it makes me wonder if i ever will have a chance to be like one of those management team to give a sharing session on my work and my career.

it sets me thinking what is it that i want in my career.
i must say this is a very cushion-y job. i have a good pay (relatively). good colleagues (except for 1 or 2 cranky ones). not bad job scope (thou i think i can be challenged more) and generally a very healthy worklife balance. the only thing is the job satisfaction that i cannot seem to get from work

instead i get satisfaction when i complete my 10/21km run, my SPIN classes, my boxing, my combat classes and thou all these aches and hurts at times.. i get satisfaction doing handicraft presents for my loved ones and coming up with ideas for programmes and decorations for my best friend's upcoming wedding. these are things that drives me to do more and do without complaining (at least i think i am not complaining)

how then can i combine this level of satisfaction to my work at the moment. think think think. it's time once again for my mid year performance review and my mind is in a blank.
maybe one day i will take the leap of faith and make a switch in industry. or perhaps i should just stick to this cushiony job.

oh life. full of dilemas and questions. is this what i call a need for discernment and an indicator that i need Him in my life to give me directions? i guess