a confession to make

I've got a confession to make.
I somehow hope one of you from CT would read this.

I am giving up. I am letting go. I think i am not called to it.
I don't seem to be able to perform up to what is expected or the so called necessary.
I am no longer adding value to the group and instead this role or responsiblity is detering me away from the group. I fear to see any of your emsils, to see any of you sending sms to me. It comes to point where i don't even want to be remembered in someway. It is reaching a point where i feel rather suffocated within the group. I know this time round, it's not caused by anyone but myself. I have an issue with myself. I so want to pull off a "maurice" stunt. I so want to say sorry i am busy and i need to move on in life. I so wish i could just come as and when i like. It's about commitment issue. And sorry team, sometimes i feel judged and helpless.
My priorities in life have now changed. I am not sure if this is the right way but i just feel i want to move on. I want to go back and be my sunday catholic. God, forgive me for saying this.
But after going through so much, i know i can't. It's not fair. He has provided through these years and even now still.. But I don't know what to do now either. I just can't find the passion in me anymore to do it. I can't find the passion to make things happen. What has happened? i don't know and it's scaring me =(

if one of you do read about this, please let me go. please.