emotionally spiritually mentally physically.
i am getting exhausted.
so much so that i don't like to talk anymore. i don't like to laugh and joke around anymore. i just want to hit the wall and hide away.

probably a signal that i am reaching my limit - taxing me like never before.

so many things adding up together. it's no wonder i find it difficult to even breathe these days. and i mean it literally. breathing difficulties.

i haven't seen daddy for one week. yes this is how bad my life has been. and i miss him dearly. it's so sad living under the same roof. yet not able to speak to each other. every night i get home i see him sleeping. and each morning before he leaves home he sees me sleeping. oh god. only when we spoke on the phone yesterday and hearing him say:"eh i haven't seen you for a week my dear." then i realise how much i miss this old naggy man.

God has been throwing me with tons of emotional roller coasters. with only 9 days left. i must learn the art of disposition.

i guess i am kinda mastering it well.

will post on what is the art of disposition real soon. kinda interesting if you do relate it well. heh.

"Abba Father, Teach me to be genuine. teach me to understand what it means for the way things are now. teach me to accept any changes that are to come. teach me to count my blessings. teach me to seek you more and let you be the focus in my life. teach me to speak of you more. teach me to be patient. most importantly, Lord, teach me to love myself like how you loved me. Amen"

i know only You God will be my constant in my life. =)
my strength and my shied.