Sunday - 8th July 2007
wow i never knew i can be so decisive.

goodbye.

it came upon me that after today. yes it is finally over. i have finished my purpose and role. the instrument can move on with something else in life.

i made a decision to where i know i can seek comfort from. a place where i no longer need to speak. and a place where i need not worry. it gave me that sense of peace that i was seeking. perhaps all along it was just this feeling that i had been longing for. lifting all worries and troubles to Him.

so many things happening once again. that i do not know how to comprehend them. well at least this time round i see a direction. and thanks daryl for talking to me that night to make things clearer and put things to perspective. kudos bro! my void deck brother! haha.

Monday 9th July 2007

it was a simple day. worked almost 12 hrs today. burnt out. went to a place i haven't been to for the longest time. thanks for the peace and the quiet time with Him.

Tuesday 10th July 2007

happy birthday mummy. i love you. thank you for all you have done for me. really. i love you.

had a wonderful day at work. no stress. chill. laughters and basically chui. what more. ended the day before gg home to meet up bestie - claud. dinner was ok. it was probably the talking and the catching up that made all the difference. we looked through many old pictures!!! wow! we have really so much photos!!! it's a bit scary. haha. imagine photos even in Thai Express having dinner. haha. we couldn't even believe it ourselves.





Chinese New Year 2003
my happiest chinese new year celebrations up till now.
FU LE CHANG CHUN!
boy do we look really really young!


our last chalet in 2004 - this is really telling how long ago we had a chalet.
and this was as quoted claudia - a heal elaine chalet. haha. how true.


and we knew a chalet was not enough.
here we are all in KL!! our best best trip ever.
i really love you buddies.


this was christmas in 2006. have we aged? hmmz


looking at myself. looking at us in the past. the memories. good bad. with some ppl whom we will never see again. it brings back so much. and started me to think about many things.

i wanted to blog about something else actually today. but when i got home i went online and went through friendster and itchy hands. went to look at some past which i know i shouldn't have. cos the minute i went to look at them. tears fell. damn it. i told myself no more. i said not to tear anymore for what has been buried. but it still fell.. strange how i actually stopped thinking for so long and yet i still felt sad. maybe it is the feeling of unfairness in life? so i miss him? NO no i totally do not at all. but i don't know how to explain the feeling i am having at this moment. maybe the questions of what ifs.

have you ever wonder how one's life can cross each other's path. and at the end it could have already have moved away from the path into somewhere better. no more. i would say at the end to appreciate the moments we did share. the times we did spend. i thought i forgotten the sweet times we had. but tonight i did remember some. can you please leave my memories. i wish to leave it all behind.

it's kinda ------ these days. i feel it creeping into me. this time i will handle it. be not afraid will be how i am going to handle it. with Him i shall draw strength and courage to perserve on.

elaine. it's time to heal that old wound. it's time to remove whatever is left over in the broken heart and throw them away. if you are not to allow the past to go. how can anything new come. how will you ever hear what He has to say.

so tonight i pray for humility to move on and over with whatever has passed. let me understand what seems ridiculous at the moment. teach me to be really happy. in my words and my actions. teach me to be happy the way you want me to.

Amen