curosity always kills elaine

my stomach turned and flipped a bit. i swear.
a random search. a random surprise.
can't believe my luck to chance upon "it"

all thanks to my "detective" skills. natural instinct i guess.
strangely seeing things that was written and shared in there. i felt not jealous. but felt a sense of sadness and loss. suddenly it seems like i really did wasted some years back there. somethings mentioned in there still kinda sting me. it's stooopid feeling this way. it really is.

i think i will never and am never ready. gawd. great and i have just kinda spoilt my thursday night. pppff.

now i only wish you were around.

you would be able to make this all go away. =(