i didn't mean to shout back at you. i really don't. but i did it nonetheless and i guess that probably hurt you. i guess i can only say sorry here.

stop asking me questions that i do not know how to answer. i know you love me. i know you care for me. and because i know... i do not want to hurt you. yet i know by my actions i hurted you.

i am also afraid and scared. but who can i speak to? you ask me what is it and how serious is it? i also have no idea. not that i don't wanna tell you but i don't know what to say. i wish you just didn't know. i wish it would just come and go like the other time. i want everything to be fine for myself too. how would i know what is wrong. they only just told me to have another check and that's all. i asked more and i had no answers too. why me? i have no idea. i have left everything in the hands of my Maker and i don't ask for more.

it's really not up to me. please can you try to understand me and how i feel at least for once. the anxities i have are not any lesser than what you have. so please. let me breathe.

we should just not talk for a while. i am just so not going to be home until all is settled.
i am sorry. i wish you knew.

=(